Morrissey and the Art of Cancelling: 12 Bizarre Concert Excuses

Where There's a Will, There's a Way (to Cancel)

When Morrissey announced he was 'too tired' to perform at a recent concert in Valencia, it reignited the conversation around the curious yet often hilarious excuses musicians provide for cancelling gigs. Fans of the eccentric singer have come to expect these last-minute changes, but they can't help but wonder—what's next?

His declaration that insomnia due to noise made him unable to perform was met with a collective eye roll on social media. "It will take me one year to recover. And that is an understatement," he lamented. Yet, this begs the question: is it a sign of the times or simply the personal quirks of a diva?

A Look at Other Noteworthy Concert Cancellations

As it turns out, Morrissey isn't alone in the world of outrageous excuses for not hitting the stage. Here's a roundup of some memorable ones:

1) Neil Young's Ham Sandwich

In a bizarre twist of fate, Neil Young had to scrap an entire European tour in 1997 after he feasted on a ham sandwich—literally. He sliced off part of his finger while preparing the meal. "I'd have eaten it in one piece if I'd known that cutting it in half would jeopardize the tour!" Young quipped in a subsequent statement.

2) Lionel Richie's Kissing Incident

The soul legend was another casualty of an unexpected mishap. In 2012, while appearing on 'The One Show,' Richie caught norovirus from presenter Alex Jones, leading to last-minute cancellations of two show dates. Can we really blame a man for falling prey to a kiss?

3) Mötley Crüe's Weather Woes

Perhaps one of the more creative—and controversial—excuses came from Mötley Crüe back in 1988. They postponed shows due to heavy snowfall, claiming it was hazardous for their sets to go on as the roof could collapse. Spoiler alert: it turned out this was a cover for an overdose incident involving band member Nikki Sixx.

4) Weezer's Uneven Legs

In a rare case, frontman Rivers Cuomo's decision to undergo surgery to rectify a leg length difference resulted in multiple cancelled shows in 1995. The surgery, which entailed breaking and stretching his leg, resulted in a shift in direction for the band's music. Sometimes pain leads to creativity, right?

5) Keith Richards Falls from a Tree

Ah, the legendary Keith Richards took rock 'n' roll accidents to new heights—literally. The guitarist of The Rolling Stones fell out of a coconut tree in 2006, delaying a European tour while he recovered from brain surgery. That leads us to ponder: which is more dangerous—coconuts or concerts?

6) Liam Gallagher's House Hunt

Oasis' Liam Gallagher cancellation story is almost comical. In 1996, shortly before a tour, he pulled out, citing a sore throat. His brother Noel later spilled the tea, revealing that Liam had decided to go house hunting instead. Priorities, right?

7) Justin Bieber's Towel Tantrum

In a televised concert in 2015, Justin Bieber noticed a puddle on stage that could lead to a slip hazard. As he attempted to wipe it with a towel, eager fans rushed toward him, causing him to cut short the concert citing a lack of safety. Sometimes, being a superstar is just too much to handle!

8) Drake's Ferry Fiasco

Last summer, Drake had to postpone a concert due to 'unforeseen ferry schedule and travel logistics.' Speculation arose about what exactly occurred in his busy itinerary. The truth: it was merely a scheduling error that had his team scrambling.

9) Cold Chisel's Cat Attack

Australian band Cold Chisel had to postpone a show after guitarist Ian Moss got bitten by his cat—a rather ironic twist given the band's tough exterior. In a lighthearted statement, he remarked, “Sorry to be a pussy—look forward to making amends next week.”

10) Kings of Leon vs. Pigeons

In one of the oddest cancellations, Kings of Leon cut a show short due to a flock of aggressive pigeons that became a hygiene hazard. Drummer Nathan Followill tweeted that a bird had taken aim at bassist Jared Followill, deeming the situation too unsanitary to continue.

11) Iggy Azalea's Creative Crisis

Rapper Iggy Azalea faced criticism after cancelling her tour in 2015, candidly declaring that she was tired of performing the same songs. "I want to start anew," she said in an unfiltered moment of honesty, which left fans bemused yet impressed.

12) Cello Cancellations

Cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason found himself in a tough spot when Air Canada refused to fly his £2m cello, leading to the cancellation of a 2024 concert. As he eloquently stated, it would be a dream for airlines to standardize their approach to transporting priceless instruments. A great reminder that even the finest can face hiccups!

Conclusion: The Show Must Go On?

As we reflect on these peculiar cases of concert cancellations, it becomes evident that the life of a touring artist is rife with drama that can rival their on-stage performances. While fans often feel let down, these behind-the-scenes tales remind us that sometimes life—and cats—can throw a wrench into even the best-laid plans. Here's to hoping for fewer disruptions and more shows in the future!