The Case Against Small Plates: Why They Should Be Banned

The Small Plates Dilemma

When dining out in London, a city celebrated for its eclectic culinary landscape, a visit to a trendy eatery can often culminate in a frustrating experience: the infamous small plates. My recent culinary escapades lead me to a point of reckoning—do we need to banish this practice from our dining culture forever?

On a busy evening in London, where the vibrant energy draws diners from all walks of life, I'd expect to be greeted by hearty meals that foster conversation and connection. Instead, I find myself bombarded by a barrage of dishes described as “exquisite”—but are they really? A delicate dollop of pomegranate seeds on a smattering of petals does not a meal make. It is maddening to customize an experience intended for social sharing into a menu designed for the Instagram-generation's aesthetic.

Dinner or a Lab Experiment?

Let's get real: when the waiter approaches with that insufferable query, “Have you been here before?” it signals the impending doom of my gastronomic experience. The suggestion to order between three to twenty small plates per person transforms what should be a generous meal into an agonizing economic decision. How is it that I end up paying double the price only to leave feeling hungry? Is this some culinary experiment designed more for show than substance?

“Death to small plates—that's the hill I will die on.”

To put it into perspective, dining with friends should evoke stories and laughter, not the dread of sharing an overly-precious plate that costs a tenner but offers a mere morsel of food.

Equality at the Table? Not Quite

One of the most grievous expectations accompanying the small plate trend is the insistence on sharing the food. Newsflash: I am not a feral cat vying for the last scrap at the table! Sharing may foster a sense of community, but it also leads to dissatisfaction. I want my meal to be my meal, especially if I am paying a premium dosh for it.

Reflections on a Changing Dining Culture

I grew up in a working-class household where dinner wasn't just about sustenance; it was a familial affair, a ritual. Food was served from the pot, plopped on the plate, representing not just a meal but a universe of stories and memories. Now, dining out often resembles a cultural caricature, hedged in pretension.

• In Defense of Tradition: Let's take a look at the origins of dining. Is there value in traditions that emphasize sustenance over pretense?
• The Tapas Dilemma: While I'll champion traditional Spanish tapas, I argue they embody a different spirit of sharing—more focused on community and less on economic exploitation.
• Costs vs. Value: When does a meal lose its value, and how does that impact the joy of dining?

Seeking the Soul of Cuisine

This month, I'm consumed with planning an event that celebrates the joyous essence of culinary culture, and “small plates” succinctly encapsulate everything I abhor in contemporary dining. I long for the robust flavors and satisfying portions reminiscent of my upbringing—dishes that reflect authenticity rather than artifice.

So, what's the alternative? Why not advocate for diners to return to sharing wholesome, heartening meals that encourage laughter and camaraderie without the sting of overspending? Imagine walking into a restaurant and being greeted by the rich scent of a roasted chicken ready to be carved, with generous bowls of vibrant sides designed for sharing.

Conclusion: Ban the Small Plates

In a climate where culinary trends often outweigh common sense, I staunchly believe it is time for consumers to reclaim dining experiences. Eating out should nurture our souls, not empty our pockets. Let us demand hearty plates and community at the table, and ultimately, abolish the insipid small plates culture, enabling truly satisfying social meals.

In closing, the culinary establishment needs a wake-up call. Unless you're roaming the streets of Andalucia, let's prioritise meals that speak to our hunger—both literally and metaphorically. Less fuss, more heart; that's the dining revolution I seek.